My Take On YUGAYHO
by Kurt Baros aka The Falcon
Summary: If you like yugioh then dont read this fanfic, because this is basher fic and i really dont like the show or the game. plz review if you hate yugi or the story.
1. The Gayness that is YUGAYOH

**My take on YU-GAY-HO**

**By**

Kurt Baros aka The Falcon

Author's notes: listen up I hate yu-gi-oh so very much and this is for all those who feel the same as me. **So if you like yu-gi-oh then don't read this** for I will be bashing him and all his friends so very much and showing all, how retarded the game and the show really are. Also leave good are bad reviews. I don't care because I really hate yu-gi-oh. Also if I spelled any names or creatures wrong let me know also I purposely spelled yu-gi-oh's name the way I did so don't tell it's wrong.

Yu-gay-ho: In a gay / retarded voice (I don't mean to offend any gay or retarded people I'm just bashing yu-gi-oh) while hitting his chest with his hand " I Yu-gay-ho will use this card game that was make in the factory by my greatest enemy, will help me save the world with illusionary creatures from destruction."

**XxXxXx **

The Military General: "Where the hell are all these creatures coming from and what is causing all these people to go into coma's…damn I wish I knew why."

The Military Corporal: "umm… sir I think I know why all this is happening. There a card game that is a very stupid game that my eight year old nephew plays and he says that the game he play which is called yu-gi-oh is what is causing everyone to go into coma's"

The Military General: he glares at the corporal "DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID OR SOMETHING NUMB NUTS…THERE'S NO WAY I FUCKING CARD GAME IS CAUSEING THIS."

The Military corporal: "SIR YES SIR!"

**XxXxXx **

Mai: she wakes up next to Joey "hey times up Joey… TRISTAN has me for the two hours." "And you owe me 7,065.30 yen."

Joey: "WHAT I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME MAI!"

Mai: "HAHA you thought I loved you…you fool I sleep with anyone who can pay me."

Joey: -cries like the little baby that he is-

Yu-gay-ho: walk in slapping his hand on his chest "uuurrrr… Mai I want to sleep with you." Start to chew on himself.

Mai: looks at yu-gi-oh "uugg… like I would sleep with you"

Yu-gay-ho: drawls while still slapping his hand on his chest "but I will give you one of my god cards if you do."

Mai: looks at the drawling moron and then to the god card "OK but you only get 5 mins."

Joey: -goes into a fetal position and cries more-

Mai: goes into Joey's pants pocket and takes out 9,000 yen. And then throws Joey outside and gets busy with Yu-gay-ho.

**XxXxXx **

Solomon Muto: Oh Exzodea...oh yes... oh Exzodea... oh

Yu-gay-ho: -chews on himself a little then pounds on the bathroom door- uuurrr...-drawls some- grandpa I need Exzodea for the next tournament. -Parts in his favorite passed time with is chewing on himself.

Solomon Muto: oh Exzodea...oh...oh...yyyyeeeesss...urrrr...-sighs-

Yu-gay-ho: -stops chewing on himself- Damn it grandpa I need Exzodea I'm going to be late. -Slaps his chest and starts to repeatedly bash into the nearest wall.

Solomon Muto: -unlocks door zipping up his pants-here you go Yu-gay-ho -hands him the five Exzodea pieces. -

Yu-gay-ho: -he takes them and looks at them- damn it grandpa you got white stuff on them again. -Knawels on himself-

**XxXxXx **

Seto Kaiba: -walks up to a newbie player- what would you do for some god cards -says it like the Klondike commercials- -waves them under the newbie player's nose. -

Newbie player: I would castrate myself for those

Seto Kaiba: -hands him a knife-

Newbie player: -does the deed and start to scream with I very high pitched girly voice-

Seto Kaiba: -hands him the cards-here you go -looks at the camera- this was brought to you by kaiba industries from the people who care about there players.

Newbie player: -in a stranded voice- thank you.

XxXxXxXx

Yu-Gay-Ho tournament announcer: folks we have a special tournament this year…hopefully this will be the first of many of this kind of tournaments of it kind…the pokamon Yu-Gay-Ho battle tournament…our first contestant is our very own world champion…Yu-Gay-HO.

A young boy walks out from the tunnel slapping himself in the chest and drooling all over himself. He walks up to the dueling podium.

Yu-Gay-Ho:: smiles happily and says :: I made a stinky.

Half of the audience's mouths drop to the ground while the other half made huge sweat drops on their heads.

Announcer guy: …umm…oook…and our other champion who hails from Pallet Town…and is one the best trainers in his league… AAAASH KETCHUM.

What looks to be a young boy that looked no older then 14 walks out and waves to the crowd. He walks up to his side.

Ash: God'da catch them all…-gives a thumbs up.

As one the audience gives off a sweat drop larger then the first one.

Announcer guy: umm…nevermind…umm…LET THE BATTLE BEGIN.

4 MINS LATER

Ash recalls charzard and Yu-Gay-ho summon Exzodea on the field. The huge monster roars and ash raises an eyebrow at this.

Ash: I CHOSSE YOU PICIKACU.

The pokamon appears out of the ball in a golden light. It looks up at Exzodea with a sadistic smile

Pikachu: ::in a high and girly soundly voice:: I'm going to rip out you fuckin intestine through your asshole bitch…then I'm going to skull fuck you…-smiles again-…PIIIICIKACU…

As he says this Pikachu fires off enough electricity to power the U.S.A for a month. Exzodea shudders from all the juice and a few times his skeleton is scene a few time before the power stops. Slowly Exzodea falls over and Pikachu true to its word runs over to body starts to do what he said the he would do. The audience turns green and then two load groans are heard. Brock zips up his pants and Mai wipes her mouth.

Joey: :with huge puppy dog eyes he sees Mei do that and assumes the position on the ground:: why…why…sniff…sniff…why Mei?

Misty: ::walks over to joey and pats him on his back:: there…there big guy…it's not your fault that your girlfriend is a slut that will do anything including horses and everything else.

Joey: sniff…sniff…really?

Misty: yea really…why don't you come back to my apartment for some meaningless sex…ill bet that will make you fill better.

Joey: but…but what about your boyfriend over there?

Misty: oh that not my boyfriend and ash is a girl…were both bi…-grabs Joey's hand and drags him out of the stadium.

Meanwhile Pikachu grunts with an unnatural deep sound voice, as it trusts in and out of xzodea's eye socket. After about 3 more mins. He slices open Exzodea stomach and wallows in his intestines.

Pikachu: YESSS…blood and organs…-takes an unnaturally large bite out of Exzodea heart and chews.

The audience turns green from this and all the while Yu-Gay-Ho just chews on himself and a large brown stane form in the back of his pants.

Ash: humm…the others haven't eaten yet…-pulls out her other balls and throws them in the blood ba…I mean battlefield and they pop out.

All the pokamon partake in the feast and Mei walks up and sees bulbazor.

Mei: ohhh…a tentacle rape monster.

Ash sweat drops at this and so does the rest of the crowd

Announcer guy: Umm…-looks a little green under the gills-…since the battle field had has to be cleaned up for the next match the tournament will be postponed till it can be cleaned up.

XxXxXxXx

OK people I know ash is suppose to be male but I couldn't resist and in japan Pikachu cusses more then a sailor but this is a cross between canon and the one blood thirsty little bastard in drawn together…It was on comedy cental for awhile. And as I stated before if you like the show or the game you shouldn't have read this but since you did flame me if you want and write a real review. Ether way don't be an A-hole about it or I will bash you hard. And please quit stating the obvious I don't like show and it shows in the writing…so please quit telling how insulting this fic is it is meant to be this way for a reason.

XxXxXxXx

A big beefy cop is riding on a futuristic police motorcycle chaseing another beefy guy who is also on the street version of what the cop is riding.

Gay beefy cop: I must catch this criminal who is riding down this ending Scooby Doo corridor while playing YU-GAY-HO…in order to stop him even though I could just shoot out his tires with my gun…but no I must play this game in order to stop him before he reaches the exit.

Gay beefy hero: you will not beat me gay beefy cop for I am gay beefy hero…HAHAHAHA…I will defeat you and escape…HAHAHAHA…

20 mins later…

just as the door closes and gay beefy hero passes the doors before they close…they seal shut…gay beefy cop screams

Gay beefy cop: CURSE YOU GAY BEE…

Gay beefy cop slams into the steel reinforced door…doing a very good impression of Tetsuo's wreak in Akira, he dies a very horrible death in a fireball.

XxXxXxXx

OK people a watched about 3 mins. of yu-gi-oh 5 D's and I though that yu-gi-oh couldn't get any gayer but I have been proven wrong yet again…now they play the game on motorcycles…-signs and face palms-…ok I don't care if you hate what I wrote and to those who want to report me…all of you should have better things to do then to be a whiny little bitch and yes this is directed to you **truth hurts don't it**…if you read this then be a man, women, or the transvestite that you probley are and send me your real member name so i can review your work unless the one you reviewed with is your real one and if it is then you have no room to bitch about my work since you probley haven't written anything and if you did its probley a pompous piece of crap.


	2. The many deaths of YuGayHo

The many deaths of Yu-gay-ho

By

Kurt Baros aka The Falcon

Authors notes: people just to let you know I do really hate this show and I'm writing this to show my hatred for it. The only reason I know the names of the cards is because I had to suffer many of times going to gaming stores to play magic the gathering having to listen to the players call out what they are doing and the Internet also gave me a lot of names. On a side note I'm not getting much In the way of ideas form add on to both chap. 1 and 2. If anybody want to see some done let me know and ill add it to this. Also I don't care if you flame me but if you're an A-hole about ill slam you right back. Theirs a line between constructive critisizium and just being a whiny little bitch and yes I'm talking and you Anger&Peace now Anger, for you.

Chapter 2

Yu-gay-ho: I call forth my blue eyes white dragon on to the field…-chews on himself and drools on himself while pissing his pants involuntary-…attack my slave.

BEWD: -glares back at the retard that summoned him into the world and says-…damn it I was just getting to hit that she dragon in heat…-roars-…and you fucking summon me to fight a duel in a torment…you are so fucking dead.

Yu-gay-ho: his eyes grow wide and he hears for the first BEWD speak for the first time never registering the fact that the dragon raised its right foot and stomps the booth the he was in killing him instantly.

BEWD: -lifts his large foot from the flattened booth and looks at the gooey human on the bottom of his foot-…damn I got human all over right foot…- walks over to a grassed area and vigorously wipes away the human from his foot before disappearing.

Meanwhile Yu-gay -ho's friends and opponent watch stunned as the dragon does all of this. Mei shrugged and walks over to weevil and offers him a blowjob for some of his cards, which he excepts, and the walk off. Joey curls into a fetal position and cries over the fact that Yu-gay-ho is dead and his girlfriend is a slut. Yu-gay-ho's girlfriend drops to her knee's looking up...-thank you god...-sniff sniff-…I'm finally free of the retard and this stupid game…-throws down her cards and walks off.

Yu-gay-ho and company all receive scrolls inviting them to join something called mortal combat tournament. Which they mistake for a card game tournament. As they get onto the decrepit boat and set sail they look around.

Joey: hey Mei is it just me or is there something wrong here…Mei?…-looks off to the side and sees her giving head to a buff man in a strange yellow ninja outfit-…Mei?...-sniff…sniff…and he going into his classic position onto the deck crying like the little bitch that he is.

Yu-gay-ho: chews on himself and makes a wet noise and then grins-…I made a stinky...-looks at his girlfriend smiling.

Yu-gay-ho's girlfriend: groans and sets down her backpack and pulls out an adult dipper from the pack and changes him right there on the deck.

Meanwhile all of the other combatants watch all this with there mouths wide open.

Lu Kang: this just isn't right…what the hell is wrong with him.

Sonya: I'm still in shock that girl is giving scorpion head.

8 hours later

Yu-gay-ho: walks out onto the battle arena and looks around for a dueling booth-…umm…-chews on himself -…where's the dueling booths at?

Shang Sung: HAHAHA…you little fool this is a battle to the death…this isnt your stupid game that you play.

Yu-gay-ho: goes pale and turns to his opponent seeing a huge man in a yellow ninja outfit.

Scorpion: GET OVER HERE…-a creature fires from his hand and flies at Yu-gay-ho impaling him in the chest. Scorpion yanks on it and brings the boy to him and upper cuts him braking Yu-gay-ho's neck in one hit.

Shang Sung: WINNER…SQORPION…-looks at the dead body debating weather to take his soul or not-…keep your soul boy I have intension of learning the stupid game you play…-shudders-

An hour later

Joey falls to the ground quivering in his usual position. While Goro watches his act of cowardice.

Goro: get up human and fight me…NOOOW!…-joey quivers more and a yellow puddle forms around him. Goro looks on in disgust-…YOU PATHETIC HUMAN AND NOW YOU DIE…-Goro raises his foot up and stumps joey crushing half his body and killing him instantly.

Shang Sung WINNER GOr…-shudders-…awww…places his hand on Yu-gay-ho's former girl friend turned sex slave.

10 minutes later

Goro groins as Mei finishes him off and she gets up wipes her mouth and holds out her hands.

Mei: I held up my end of the bargain…did you get them?

Goro: nods stupidly-…yes I did here you are…-hands Mei a book of card that has the name property of Yu-gay-ho on the side.

Mei: yes I now have Yu-gay-ho's decks…now no one will ever beat me ever again…HOHOHOHOHO!

Goro granges at the laughter, which reminds him of that crazy ass girl in Nerima that he while on vacation there.

Authors notes: I know its short but these are the only ones I thought up. If any of you want to see Yu-gay-ho die in any way possible let me know and ill try to do it.


End file.
